I've been locked for over 3.5 years and in the last perhaps 2 years or so I've had these crazy dreams where my hair is either: a) long & loosely curled, b) very short curls, c) long locks (love these types), d) bald, or the craziest, like last night's dream d) me at a salon or myself combing/brushing out my locks 
I've often wondered if these looks were me in a different life. In the types like a,b,c,d I can see how that may be the case. Me revisiting a different lifetime with another hairdo. How cool. But last night I dreamed that I went to a salon and let my old hair dresser (who is actually now deceased) comb out my hair. What was funnier is that my hair looked like it did when I got it blow-dried and all she used was a comb with no snags in the process. Ha Ha- definitely a dream, but bizarre nonetheless! 
Admittedly, I sometimes daydream about passing a comb through my hair to get my scalp greased- by my Mama specifically. But these things are pretty fleeting. I've never wanted to really cut my SLs off. Sometimes I wish I could do more things with my hair. Like lately I've been wanting to cut it in different styles and perhaps dye it, but never get rid of my locks. What is going on here? If I were a psychoanalyst and heard someone say this, I would say something about subconscious desires or missing bonds. But alas I am not a PA nor would I say that these things ring true (for the most part). So what does this mean? Well in a search on the net, I found a site on dream interpretation and thought I should share. I think I've gotten some insight on my recent dreams after reading the section below. But I still want to pose a few Qs to you: Have any of you ever had hair dreams? What are they about and what do you make of it?To see hair in your dream, signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health. It is indicative of your attitudes. If your hair is knotted or tangled, then it is symbolic of uncertainty and confusion in your life. You may be unable to think straight.
To dream that you are cutting your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may feel that someone is trying to censor you. Alternatively, you may be reshaping your thinking or ambitions and eliminating unwanted thoughts/habits.
To dream that you are combing, stroking or styling your hair, suggests that you are taking on and evaluating a new idea, concept, outlook, or way of thinking. You may be putting your thoughts in order and getting your facts straight. A more literal interpretation suggests your concerns about your self-image and appearance.
To dream that you have long hair, indicates that you are thinking long and carefully before making some decision. You are concentrating on some plan or situation.
To dream that you are losing your hair, denotes that you are concerned with the notion that you are getting older and losing your sex appeal/virility. You are preoccupied with aging and your appearance. Losing you hair also signify a lack of strength and that you do not possess the power to succeed in an undertaking. You may be feeling weak and vulnerable.
To dream that someone is smelling your hair, indicates sexual curiosity and your need for some sensual stimulation. You have a lot to learn about a relationship. The way yours or someone else's hair smell may remind your of a particular person.
To dream that you are reaching for someone's hair, suggests that you are trying to connect with that person on a spiritual or intellectual level. It also refers to sympathy, protectiveness, and fraternal love.
To dream that the wind is blowing through your hair, signifies freedom to express uninhibited feelings. You are "letting your hair down".
To dream that your hair is white or turns white, indicates that something important has just been made aware to you. It is a symbol of wisdom and insight. The dream may also be a metaphor suggesting that you are feeling "light-headed".
To dream that someone is giving you a haircut, suggests that you are experiencing a decreased sense of power. You may feel that you were criticized unfairly.
To dream that you are a hairdresser, suggests that you are imposing your ideas and opinions on others. Perhaps you need to work on your self-image and improve on your image. Alternatively, it refers to your attitude toward your own sexuality.
To dream that you are at the hairdresser, you are looking to change your attitude. You are ready for change and moving in a different attention.
To dream that you are wearing a hairpiece, indicates some sort of deception. You may be giving off a false impression and passing the views of others as your own.
To dream that you lose your hairpiece, suggests that you are beginning to lose your mind or that you may be giving someone a piece of your mind. The dream may also be a pun on losing your "peace" of mind.
Naturally Sophia shared this magazine in this post and I thought I'd pass it along. It's a FREE, downloadable magazine put together by Kitty Soulflower. It contains stories/bios and phenomenal pics of locked women, queens, goddesses, and a host of other titles. I cannot even begin to tell you just how refreshing it is to see and read the bios/pics of these LOVELY women. Big up to all the women appearing in this mag. I think it is so cool to feature women who are beautiful and loc'd- something that is rarely seen in current mainstream media. To all reading this, you must check it out! *Maybe in the next volume some SLers can be featured in a bio.
Really, my conversations are not that shallow: At the time I was in the "data collection" phase in research on Black women & exercise (my general research area is obesity). Within this discussion, size came up, of course. In the midst of me trying to explain the difference between "thick" & "fat", I said an ideal example of what is considered "thick" is a shape like Beyonce's, but even then she may fall on the "skinny-with-curves" side depending on what movie role she's doing at the time. I was explaining this to four mid-40ish women, 3 which were White and hadn't really known what she looked like. Beyoncé’s shape seemed like an ideal example given her popularity, but clearly I was mistaken. The Black woman was very familiar with > Beyoncé and adamantly rejected my classification of Beyonce as thick. She actually proclaimed that she was...FAT! WTF! That was the first thing that popped into my mind. I had to consciously censor myself. I was in a professional environment so I went on to calmly disagree letting them know that she is a singer and dancer that stays on tour, was on the cover of Sports Illustrated, and probably wears clothes sizes ranging between a 2-6. Okay maybe an 8 pants, but that may be due to hips, which last time I checked was not a very bad thing. All this to say that, I don't think society has advanced to the level of featuring a "fat" woman in these avenues without branding her as "full-figured". In hindsight I should have mentioned that her latest videos featured her clad in a freaking leotard & high heels. Admittedly, that does not mean she couldn't be considered "fat", but all the parodies that have been done on the video have not come close to implying that she is in any way (shape or form) fat. And you know those folks can be pretty ruthless. Back to the story: the woman kept on saying that she was fat and was bigger than all those taking part in the conversation. I was puzzled because she included herself and this woman is definitely obese by BMI’s standards- very apparently larger than Beyoncé . I could not believe what my ears were hearing. After a short back and forth and my staunch refusals to believe her statements, she mentioned that she was not a Beyoncé fan…AHA, so the real opinion comes out. It was really never about her weight, she was being a hater. That was the end of that conversation, this was not a real debate. 
I wouldn’t necessarily classify myself as a Beyoncé fan (though I like many of her songs and respect her hustle), but come on, give credit where it’s due. She has a good voice is a good dancer and has a nice shape. I visited a couple of websites (I refuse to name them), and saw that there are more people (mostly women) out there with this same sentiment of Beyoncé being fat. I had no idea how far the hateration for Beyoncé goes. This is the type of stuff that leads me to do the psychological work that I do. It fascinates me (and infuriates at times) how someone's perception of someone else's character can influence how they perceive their physical features. I could see the attractiveness judgment, but it's application to weight would seem like a more difficult task. This sentiment seems to be contrary to what a lot of research has espoused about Black women's acceptance of a larger frame.
I’ve made other posts about weight that did not make the final cut for all eyes to see. But after I started writing about the Surgeon General nominee Regina Benjamin, I decided to throw in some other weight experiences I’ve had in the past few months.
So earlier, someone sent me this article which discusses opposing views on the appropriateness (geez, this word has been haunting me for the last week or so) of President Obama's Surgeon General nomination of Dr. Regina Benjamin of AL. Apparently, despite a long list of degrees, several awards, and unprecedented compassion in her medical practice, some people that think she is unfit (no pun intended) for the position because she is overweight/obese by the Body Mass Index standard. On the other hand, others feel that her weight is totally irrelevant and that this would probably help in her relating to what the average American goes through and may have more insight into what they need.
I could see how people have a point about receiving health information and guidelines from someone they are assuming does not follow them. However, the problem with this view is that they are a few assumptions: a) she is not trying to maintain a decent weight or b) she lives an unhealthy lifestyle or c) she doesn’t have any other condition (maybe hypothyroidism) that may influence her weight or d) her weight would influence her decisions for public health. Furthermore, according the Office of the Surgeon General, “The Surgeon General serves as America's chief health educator by providing Americans the best scientific information available on how to improve their health and reduce the risk of illness and injury.” So, she is an advocate for health that gives prescriptions based on science, not her weight or lifestyle.
I’m not trying to make an excuse for her or others in a similar position, but in the job description weight or any other appearance factors are not included. Yes, inherent in the position is that one be a role model of healthy living, but that does not prohibit her from looking into the science behind these studies and seeing if they work for the people. Moreover, she may be in a perfect position in knowing what works as well as an ideal public figure that can go through a journey of becoming healthier (if she is not currently). I admit that a message of health coming from someone who looked like her would throw me off initially, but if I saw the people who she has helped have good results, I would give her a try. I think America could give her a try. From what I’ve seen, she is the first SG that doesn’t have a military background since 1982. Maybe she can lend a refreshing view to things. So instead of looking at her appearance and making a judgment, let’s see what she can do. But even then, how relevant is her weight.
On the hair tip, I am now more willing to give a consultant without SLs a try if they have other clients with great results.
Though it was before my time, I remember seeing pictures of MJ as a youngin with one of the best afros ever. It was full and thick like mine would be after my mom would wash and comb my hair. There was no mistaking his social identity label (aka race). Why would this be so special? At that time (even present day) when Blackness has been perceived as inferior, he had the WORLD in awe. Everyone was mystified by this little Black boy with his Black brothers performing like nobody's business. On beat and singing like an angel (cuz you know angels are nothing but soul), lil Mike worked the stage. I’ve seen footage where he would cock that big ole fro back, feeling the beat of the song, and let out melodies and ad-libs like a grown man. The afro was part of his signature style and announced to the world that I am here, I’ve got something to say, and you’re gonna listen.
A few years and a nose job later, he traded in his afro for a jheri curl-ish, mullet-like, baby hair bumpin hair do. What the hell happened? I’m not sure what people thought of this look initially, but it was a change. Is this an example of “going hollywood”? Nevertheless, he was one of the 1st guys that curled their hair and made it cool for guys to wear their hair like that. I dunno, but somehow I think the nose and the hair correlate with each other and point to an over-arching issue. I'm not suggesting that he needed to be locked up shouting “militant” rhetoric (everyone’s path is different), but I wonder how his career would have turned out had he opted for ANY natural hairstyle. Would that impact the music he made or treatment he got? Just a thought.
Fast forward to suspect multiple surgeries, nearly translucent skin, and a full sew-on weave/wig straight from China with a slight bump at the bottom. Hmmm. He would go between the wet & wavy curls and this until the time of his passing. In fact, one article citing the autopsy reports that he in fact had a full wig on (I wonder what he looked like?). If asked, how could he explain that texture change? If only there was a disease that caused one’s hair to straighten, that’d be perfect. A complete transformation had taken place and from comedians and family conversations, the topic of his appearance was brought up in 
jest, awe, and disgust. Yeah, there were other things to talk about (selling albums, legal issues), but no one knew what to make of his look. Back to the hair specifically. At best, people were slightly (and I mean extremely slightly) relieved that he had gone to the straightened bob hair. Black folks know about men with straightened hair- Al Sharpton, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams- so that was a little better. It is almost like his hair evolved to straight. You try to figure out the deep meaning behind this, but I think Quincy Jones didn’t misspeak when he recently pointed out some of MJ’s issues. [Second picture of what MJ would look like without modification from this site]
Looking deep down inside, I wonder if he was trying to make a literal statement or teach the world that it really didn’t “matter if you’re Black or White” (or any other color for that matter). Despite the changes in his appearance, everyone (for the most part) still respected him for all his talent. As perplexed as people were regarding his metamorphosis, we embraced him and his music. In fact, just a few days before his passing, Sogent and I dominated the juke box at the local bar’s happy hour with MJ hits. Get this, we were the only Black people in the entire bar yet EVERYONE danced, sang, and enjoyed the songs. From the Mediterranean owner to the local White residents, everyone knew the words (okay, the hooks really) and had a good time. It looked like it could be a scene right out of one of MJ’s videos. So, maybe MJ made it easier for us to connect with everyone despite appearances and even cultural differences…just one people who liked to have a good time.
Michael Joseph Jackson, Junior, you’ll be missed and never forgotten.
Admittedly, I've become obsessed with my garden and anything that grows from a little dirt and/or water. From this, I am now more aware of the life and energy that surrounds me and all of us. Look, I'm not really the type to "wax poetic" but this garden has introduced me to so many natural wonders of life. I know this blog is mainly about hair, but I felt compelled to share with you, my blog family, something that has brought me great joy, calm, pride, and love. Besides, I have one hair shot in there. I hope this post invokes positive vibes for the rest of your day. Click on THIS LINK to view (there is music on it).
